“J”

I’m formally introducing you all to my Ego, “J”.  She’s been with me for a very long time now and sometimes she’s helpful, but most of the time she just gets in my way.

Earlier this week, “J” was rearing her ugly head.

Corbin and I had to wait on an oil change, a new battery, and the tires being rotated on my car.  So, I knew this was going to be a wait, but I had prepared myself and my bag with activities.

We had just arrived in the waiting area when a boy (about 2 1/2 years old) and his dad came in.  Well, here goes “J”.  I was excited because I thought that perhaps this boy would be wild and crazy (he looked kind of ornery), and maybe he would take the spotlight off the actions of my child. 

Nope. Not the case.

This little boy sat on a chair, adorably eating a chocolate chip cookie as my child took crayons that I had given him to color on a sheet and instead colored on a table and then a couch.  The old ladies were commenting on how nice this little boy was and how cute he was.  Don’t think “J” wasn’t just dying.  Oh, my ego was out of control and working overtime.  That cute and adorable, perfectly behaved boy was supposed to me be my child!

Well, as if I my ego had not suffered enough injustice Corbin got out his cars.  But instead of playing with them nicely he started to bang them on the table, drive them over the computers, and then…wait for it…dump them in a trash can…..what!!  While the sweet little boy eating a cookie looked on I had to put my hand in a trash can to retrieve the car. 

I can only imagine what the other customers thought.  As my child stood by the window making incredibly loud car noises I started to focus on my inner thoughts.  I could not let “J”, my ego, take hold of my thoughts.  Corbin was not being horrible; he’s just not as “perfect” as that little boy.  I did not need anyone to tell me how wonderful Corbin is, I know that.  I also know most times Corbin is well behaved; he was just having an ornery day and testing my limits.  It happens…he’s 16 months old.

So as I sat in the waiting room, I breathed, I prayed, I got myself out of the grips of “J” and became ok with the fact that my child was not perfect.  I knew that I had handled everything he did in a manner that was acceptable, respectful, and will help him to make better decisions in the future. So while I can’t always control how my child acts I can ALWAYS control how I act.

We have had our ups and down, “J” and I.  But I’m starting to get control of her. :)