What to Say?

I’ve been to a few baby showers in the last few weeks where the guests have been asked to write or give a piece of advice to the new mom.

I had a hard time with this request. Here were some choices I thought through:

 

“This is just a phase and it too will end.”

But here’s what I always asked when I got that peice of advice:

“When will it end?”

“I have no idea.”

“What do I do to get through it?”

“Drink, try to laugh at it, oh and drink.” ;)

For me as a new parent, that adviced did NOT help. I understand it now. I have perspective, but at the time when I just wanted someone to “fix” the tantrums it didn’t help.

 

“Sleep now while you can.”

Umm, ok when you’ve never had kids and you have no idea what sleep deprevation is this advice means nothing. They know that sleepless nights are coming but they don’t understand what that will truly feel like, so to me this is pointless to tell anyone. Unless of course this is your 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child; then you understand this saying but you’re too busy with the other children in your life to be able to actually take it.

 

“Just relax, you’ll figure it out, it just takes time.”

Nope, that doesn’t cut it for me. I know I’ll figure it out eventually, I would just like someone help me get there now. So I feel like this advice is just a little patronizing.

Those were just a few that flitted through my head. But for me, those pieces of advice never worked. It’s more like words of moral support and encouragment.

Each child is unique and what works for one doesn’t work for another. Every parent has different views and expectations.  Each family works differently. 

So, what’s the best advice I could give?

“Most parenting problems and questions you have can’t be answered by people. Parenting is a partnership between you, your spouse, and God. I promise you that parenting will be the one gauranteed way to get you on your knees to pray. It will be the one gauranteed way to make you feel like you NEED Jesus because you certainly don’t have a clue what you are doing. So, my advice, buy a good cushion or knee pad because you are going to be spending a ton of time down there.”

Ok, gotta wrap this up…apparently there is a “major” problem in Corbin’s room right now. (I can guess the problem will be that parts of his Marble Run aren’t going together exactly as he would like….anyone have any advice?)